House of the Chakram

another first for the wee one...

Today is the first day of real official day care for my wee one. I dropped him off about 7:45am. I wonder if it isn't going to be harder for me than it is for him!

My dad had surgery on Friday, so for the next two weeks he's unable to come over and watch the wee one like he had been...so day care was our only logical option.

My wee one's never spent any considerable time in the company of strangers without me around. I feel like I just threw him in the deep end of the pool and said "swim!" The caregivers at the facility seemed very nice, attentive, and caring, but they are strangers. They don't know his body language, don't know his likes and dislikes, don't know when he's just crying to be held or crying because he's hungry.

I suppose that over time they'll familiarize themselves with his non-verbal communication, but I guess I just feel guilty. I'm leaving my child in the hands of strangers so I can go to work.

Yes, I know this day had to come sometime. There was always going to be a day in the future that I had to leave him with strangers to take care of him (Kindergarten, for example), but it just feels so wrong to do it when he's only 6 months old.

I try and reassure myself saying that it's good for him to socialize with other infants his age, and to get used to new people. But I still feel scared and guilty, and horrible that he might be lonely and crying and I'm not there to comfort him.

I'm told I'll get over that eventually. Well, maybe, but that maternal instinct for protection and nurturing is hitting me pretty hard at the moment and it's hard for me to imagine "getting over" this feeling.

The one saving grace is that the day care's only for half a day, since I only work half days (3 days/week).

Except for tomorrow. My boss arranged an all-day training session for tomorrow (told me about it last Thursday, gee thanks for the short notice!) so he'll have to be there all day. I've told hubby that if he happens to get off work early tomorrow afternoon (he's a lawyer and will be in court), to PLEASE pick up the boy as soon as he can.

I just don't want him there any longer than he has to be. (sigh) Guess we'll just have to see how things go.

posted by Michelle @ 8:50 AM