House of the Chakram

I love Star Wars, but...

...these new movies are lacking. The first three gripped me. Granted, the Ewoks in ROTJ were lame and should have been Wookies instead. But I was still sucked into the storyline.

Things that bug me with the new movies:

1) Hayden Christensen. Gads, what a bad actor.

2) The "romance" storyline. Don't get me wrong, I love romance. But I didn't buy this one AT ALL. Padme/Queen Amidala is a smart, strong woman who knows what she wants. Anakin is a whiny, self-absorbed, punk-ass crybaby. "Oh boo hoo, they just don't understand me, they're trying to hold me back, I can't get what I want RIGHT NOW so I'm going to throw a tantrum until I get my way!"

Why in hell would she be at all interested in this teenager 5 years her junior that can only sit around and whine all the time? Man, I'd be like, "Anakin, get a grip! Stop being such a wuss! Get some therapy and come back and see me when you're ready to be a man!"

3) Jar-jar Binks. Nuff said.

4) Mitichloriens. The Force went from a mystical energy "that surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together" to a virus.

5) The Jedi Council's stupidity. Here's a kid who's going to "bring balance to the Force", according to a prophecy. Do they ever stop to think what that means? THERE ARE TWO SITH AND HUNDREDS OF YOU. WHAT DO YOU THINK BALANCE MEANS?? Either there are going to become hundreds of Sith to match - which can't happen because according to the lore there are always only two, a master and a student - or, the ranks of Jedi are going to be reduced to two in order to match. DUH! (Which turns out to be Yoda and Obi-wan surviving (the only two Jedi in the original movies)).

Those are my top peeves. There are others.

Don't misunderstand me, there were things I loved...
* The saber fight between Darth Maul, Obi-wan and Qui-gon was amazingly awesome.
* The saber fight between Yoda and the bad guy, and the Jedi batttle in the arena in the second movie were pretty good too.
* The effects were awesome.
* I loved getting the backstory on Boba Fett. Too bad he had to die an ignominious death at the hands of the Sarlaac in ROTJ though.
* And I pretty much love Liam Neeson in anything...seeing him as a Jedi was just breathtaking.

No, I haven't seen the 3rd movie yet. It's gotten good reviews, so I'm reserving my judgement. Maybe Anakin isn't so annoying in this one. We'll see.

Don't get me started on Lucas's heretical changes to the originals....

posted by Michelle @ 9:25 AM